NEW YORK—Saying he could no longer stand idly by while a vital part of
American culture is lost forever, activist and Broadway producer Mel Brooks has
founded a private nonprofit organization dedicated to preserving the word
"schmuck."
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An emotional Brooks stopped short of kvetching at a schmuck fundraiser
Monday.
"Schmuck is dying," a sober Brooks said during a 2,000-person rally
held in his hometown of Williamsburg, Brooklyn Monday. "For many of us,
saying 'schmuck' is a way of life. Yet when I walk down the street and see
people behaving in foolish, pathetic, or otherwise schmucky ways, I hear only
the words 'prick' and 'douche bag.' I just shake my head and think, 'I don't
want to live in a world like this.'"
The nonprofit, Schmucks For Schmuck, has compiled schmuck-related data from
the past 80 years and conducted its own independent research on contemporary
"schmuck" usage. According to Brooks, the statistics are frightening:
Utterances of the word "schmuck" have declined every year since its
peak in 1951, and in 2006, the word was spoken a mere 28 times—17 of these
times by Brooks himself. The study indicates that today, when faced with a
situation in which one can use a targeted or self-deprecating insult to convey a
general feeling of disgust, people are 50 times more likely to use the word
"jerk" than "schmuck," 100 times more likely to use
"dick," and 15,000 times more likely to use "fucking
asshole."
Perhaps more startling, only 23 percent of men know what schmuck means, and
only 1.2 percent of these men are under the age of 78. If such trends continue,
Brooks estimates that by 2011, such lesser-used terms as "imbecile,"
"dummy," "schlub," and "contemptible
ne'er-do-well" will all surpass schmuck, which is projected to completely
disappear by the year 2020 or whenever Brooks dies.
"We must save this word!" Brooks said to thunderous applause as
those in attendance began chanting "Schmuck! Schmuck! Schmuck!"
"How will we be able to charmingly describe someone who acts in an
inappropriate manner? Especially given the tragic loss of the word 'schmegeggie'
in 2001. So I urge you: Tonight, when you get home, please, call up your family,
your friends, your loved ones, and tell them they're a bunch of schmucks."
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Hundreds turned out at a Boca Raton, FL demonstration to show their support
for the dying word.
"I've never told anyone this before," Brooks added, choking back
tears, "but my father was a schmuck."
The foundation has already raised more than $20 million, thanks to donations
from supporters such as Jackie Mason, Albert Brooks, the Schtupp Institute, Sen.
Russ Feingold (D-WI), and the Henny Youngman Endowment for the Preservation of
Schmekel. The money will go toward projects aimed at reintegrating
"schmuck" into the English lexicon, including billboards and flyers
plastered with the word "schmuck," the upcoming 5K Schlep for Schmuck
Awareness, and a new Mel Brooks film.
"The world cannot afford to lose this valuable and versatile word,"
Brooks told reporters during a charity auction in Manhattan's Upper West Side
Tuesday, where attendees bid for the chance to have a private lunch with Brooks
and repeatedly call him a schmuck. "You can be a poor schmuck, a lazy
schmuck, a dumb schmuck, or just a plain old schmuck. A group of people can be
collectively referred to as schmucks. You can call someone a schmuck, and you
can be called a schmuck. You can even call yourself a schmuck."
"Plus, it's just so fun to say," Brooks added. "Schmuck."
Many of the foundation's volunteers say they share Brooks' passion for the
word "schmuck," as well as his outrage that it is slowly disappearing
from everyday use. They claim that if they do not act now, the trend could
create a snowball effect.
"Today it's schmuck, tomorrow it might be toochis," said SFS
volunteer Harry Steinbergmann, 82. "What's next, schlemiel? Putz?
Schlimazel?"
Steinbergmann went on to classify this scenario as farcockteh.
Brooks will be appearing at Brooklyn's Francis Scott Key Junior High on Nov.
12 to give an informal lecture about his experiences using the word
"schmuck," and build grassroots support among a key group of young
Americans by explaining that "schmuck" is a Yiddish term for the
foreskin on the head of a penis. In addition, he has hinted at the possibility
of a reunion with longtime comedy partner Gene Wilder, during which the two will
call each other schmucks.
